If you were to just look at this photo, you would never know that I was so deep down in a dark hole that I was envisioning ways to end my life.
You see my smile and my arms full of children. But I see that pain in my eyes, hidden beneath that smile.
I see how I overcompensated at trying to be the ultimate Pinterest mom.
I see how I hoped to just fall asleep at night and never wake up again. How I thought that would be best for my family. How I thought they probably wouldn’t even miss me.
My story is not uncommon or exceptional. I am not the only one who has found themselves down a dark hole after babies.
And yet, when I was in the thick of it, I didn’t know that anyone else also struggled. I thought I was the only one who was barely holding on. And so I hid it away behind a fake smile and an attempt to do all the things and be all the things, even if it was physically impossible. Anything less felt like failure.
That’s why I share, and why I will continue to share.
If you find yourself struggling, you do not have to be Super Parent. You do not have to hide it away and push those feelings down. You are not failing if you reach out for support.
If we want to heal, we have to feel.
Your heart matters.
Life doesn’t have to be so dark—and you don’t have to sit in the dark alone.
If you need help through a dark time, there is so much support out there for you. You are not alone.
Please reach out if you need someone to talk to. My inbox is ALWAYS open—just send me an email.
